made with love
Cancer changed us.
In 2013, a week before my 26th birthday and just a few days after my father's 63rd birthday, he lost his heroic battle with cancer. I remember waking up every day afterward wondering if I was just having another horrible nightmare. But it wasn't. It was real and final. My father, my best friend, the person whose opinion of me mattered more than anything was gone. I was so angry. Even now, I'm angry. Our culture today, shames women for that kind of anger. People want you to bounce back, they want to love them like you did before. They want you to move heaven and earth and sometimes I couldn't even get out of bed. My body ached with his loss and sometimes I wished the cancer would have taken me instead. I had already live a privileged life, thanks to his hard work. There was nothing I could want for - except to be in a financial position to take care of my parents so they could retire and I could return the favor.
That day never came for us. He didn't get to retire. We didn't get to throw a massive party in his honor. In 31 years, he never took a sick day and the only time he started to get some rest was when he succomed to the final one. What I want people to know about the noble man I had the good fortune of calling Daddy is this: Wonderful, beautiful, and unprecedented things happen when you sacrifice your life for others. My dad fought for me and the rest of our family but more than anybody, for his granddaughter. He had plans to retire and pick her up and drop her off at school. He had plans to see her off to college. And he had plans to wear a suit once a year when he took her to the Daddy/Daughter dance. My father had so many plans and they were taken from us too soon. Losing him left a deep hole where my soul used to be. There are still some days where I feel absolutely empty and there are months I can't recall simply from being in the blur of my own grief. But when I work toward the cure and I come up with different initiatives to raise awareness and generate donations - that's where I feel him the most. It's as if he stands over me, telling me which ideas are good and what won't really work. When I submit myself to my purpose, I can hear my father's voice and for those brief moments - I feel whole again.
Kisses for Cancer started out as a gala to introduce my story and my vision. It has since expanded into another phase specifically catering to African American Men. On February 1st, 2014, Barrington B. and I will team up to lead a four month campaign exposing the frightful statistics of men's health - which has been deteriorating more than any other racial group for decades. There will be health tips, facts, challenges and a relentless dedication to raising money for organizations working just as hard to improve the quality of life for our fathers, uncles, brothers, nephews and husbands. Closing with a premiere event, we hope to create healthier lifestyles and reduce the health disparities within our community. Below is the documentary I started working on after my dad's passing. It is the inspiration for everything I do and will continue to do as it relates to cancer research. There will be another campaign with the sole intention of completing it but for now, please watch and spread the word.
made with love,
tassika
P.S. I only had you all sign in because as you can see, this is a very personal story and it's for the sole purpose of creating change, not simply for viewership. If you're here, I know it's because you are a changemaker and for that, I applaud you and I have created a quiet space reserved for just us.
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